In America, it is thought that nearly one out of ten married couples are staying together for the sake of their children’s wellbeing. This staggering figure has caused a lot of controversy between two schools of thought on the matter. If your marriage is struggling and there are children involved, it is best to take time and consider all options instead of acting out quickly in anger or frustration.
The Argument For Staying Together:
Some therapists and experts have implied that divorce is such a destructive force in a child’s life that it should be avoided at all costs. Divorce can rob a child of the security they find in family, and create undue financial hardships and hurt feelings that can ultimately help shape their lives. The divorce can lead to slipping grades, acting out and insecurities.
The Argument For Separation:
Especially for the more recent generations, an emphasis has been placed on adult happiness and many people say that having two miserable parents is worse than suffering a divorce. Kids are pretty perceptive and even if parents are trying their hardest to be amicable they can usually spot a fake smile a mile away. If the divorce is friendly and the parents are both committed to creating and sticking to a separated parenting plan, the hardship on the children can be minimized. It may take time, and family therapy should include children when appropriate.
Consider All Options:
Many people with children, who do divorce, later wonder if they really tried everything possible to reconcile their relationship and if their divorce did more harm than good in their children’s lives. To honor your commitment to your family and to your children, attempt to make things work through authentic means. That is, don’t try three session worth of couple’s therapy and then quit. Don’t ignore your problems and hope that they’ll fade away. Do something different, try new things. Try self-help books, retreats, date nights – and honest communication at on-going marriage counseling sessions.
Knowing When To Call It Quits:
Not all marriages can be reconciled, unfortunately. Marriages that are suffering abuse, addiction or cruelty are nothing to play around with for sure. And sometimes, even if the reason for the divorce is purely a loss of love or motivation, it can be best to let it go. If staying together means constant fighting and bickering in front of the children and no one is willing to work on a solution any more, then divorce could be more beneficial than staying together.